How To Fall In <3

You’ve always been a sucker for “less than three”. You know it’s true, otherwise you never would’ve found yourself in this predicament to begin with…

High school broke your heart. High school broke your heart before you ever had the chance to find someone to break it for you. High school broke your heart and completely obliterated any chance of you pursuing any one of those grandiose dreams of love and passion you always read about in those romance novels or witnessed on some extravagant motion picture. It made every class you had either too long or too short to survive with any satisfactory level of contentment. It made every weekday morning something to dread. It threw viscous cafeteria food at you, stole and ravaged your backpack, defiled your notebooks and never even so much as glanced your way when you actually accomplished something worthy of merit by the public. Not only that but high school also cast you to play the role of either a) “freak”, b) “nerd”, c) “tomboy” or d) “that weird kid who…” for the rest of your scholastic years until graduation.

Suck it up, cry your eyes out, break a closet door or two; whatever you have to do to get over it. Just do it and move on. These experiences will soon become the basis for all that you have yet to experience. These experiences will allow you to shun the idolised, quintessential image of what your fellow classmates and, thus, society define as “normal” and “good” and realise that there is far more to life than television commercials, music videos or celebrity marketing on the whole.

Realise that life isn’t fair. Realise that perhaps Suzie Washington most likely doesn’t share the same feelings for you as you do for her. Realise that you’re too tall, too short, too geeky, too stupid; just realise that certain flaw or two or ten that gives you enough reason to seclude yourself away from large groups of people at any given possibility. Above all else, realise that, despite the fact that you live with a generally stable family who can afford the modern luxuries of such an industrialised society, you are, in essence, alone.

Let it go. Let it all go. You come to accept that you are who are and that the whole world is throwing a lifelong party that you’re not invited to. It’s alright. They’re all idiots anyway. You can have your fun elsewhere. Manage to find something to idle your time away with until something better comes along. In fact, become so bored with wallowing in self pity that you actually manage to take the time to discover something that’s somewhat engaging: the internet.


Welcome to the real world. Yes, this is real. This is real because nobody hides behind a mask; they hide behind an avatar. Nobody goes around mumbling cruel nothings under their breath about you; they tell you straight to your face (so to speak). Nobody worries about what they’re going to wear to impress the boys at school the next day; they worry about what they’re going to say to impress the next potential soul mate who may sign on at any second. No. People here are real. Almost immediately, you witness the irony of this newfound underworld: how, though the vista of “chatting” online would appear to be less social or, rather, human, ultimately the entire experience actually feels more natural than making friends or striking up a conversation anywhere in meatspace.

Spend hours exploring this brave new motion. In fact, spend days doing it. Lose sleep. Eat less. Miss work, school, social activities. Blow off your friends because you’re in the middle of a heated conversation about the afterlife with an obscure entity who goes by the name of “xXxdesklamp_skewerxXx”. Discover that, as real as these people are, lies, gossip, drama and conflict are alive and well even in the virtual realm and that there’s, without a doubt, absolutely, positively no way of escaping it. Make lifelong friends. Meet people who will change your world. Convince yourself to recollect all of those painful and embarrassing moments from your high school days just to outdo the last guy’s story of shame. They will eat it up. There’s no room for dignity here. Rejection, pity and personal oddities reign supreme in this new age.

Just as you are beginning to feel as though you‘ve come to grips with how things operate in this whimsical new land, something earth-shaking will emerge from beneath your feet. Inevitably, you will capriciously become infatuated with someone who appears to be of another world. A world you wish to call home. You will obsess over them night and day and have no idea why. You will miss hours of sleep talking to them on the phone until dawn and have no idea why. You will even become attracted to them and, considering that you’ve never even seen their photograph… have no idea why.

Let the thought of having intimate relations with such a person marinate for a moment, then quickly dismiss such a ridiculous notion. Don’t let the illusion of such a liberal, fantasy world blind you from the reality of the situation: you haven’t even met them. Have you? You haven’t kissed. You haven’t touched. You haven’t even seen them face to face. Still, you will feel as if you’ve known them all your life. Why?

Remember high school. Think about how everybody labelled you as “different” in some way, simply because nobody ever took the time to know you. Consider the fact that, all of your supposed flaws aside, you admired your personality and didn’t care about what anyone else had to say about it. Realise that all along you were surrounded by the kind of people who assumed they knew everything there was to know about anyone at first glance. It’s prejudice. It’s shallow, stupid and, most of the time, inaccurate. You’re above all of that. After all, they’re idiots.

Come back to reality. Conclude that, when it comes to human beings, there is no such thing as “face value”. How can anyone value an image of someone that isn’t even theirs? It’s unreliable. You’ve become attached to someone in a much more intimate way than could ever be achieved through any sort of physical connotations. You’ve grown to know, respect and admire them for their personal essence rather than their age, wardrobe or weight. There’s more to relations than “a/s/l”. You’ve discovered something so real through such unreal means and now you don’t know what to do with yourself.

Let it happen. As profound and confusing as it is, just let it all unfold as it should. Distance may divide your worlds but the obstacles you will overcome together shall draw you close. Others may mock you and scoff at the very idea but that will only make it that more special. After all, they’re idiots. You’re not in high school anymore.

Congratulations. You are now in “less than three”.


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