Posts filed under ‘Existentialism’

Existential Vicissitudes

Something almost unworldly is unfolding. I can’t quite place it but I feel its coming…

Nearly two weeks ago now, around the time I made my last post, I experienced a glimpse into some unreal — and yet, somehow truer than reality — moment in the shape of a dream. It was only a brief interruption to my usual deranged dream sequences but I haven’t been able to shake its effect since. It opened up something inside of me. I feel like I’m seeing clearer, feeling stronger, understanding everything more than I ever have before, in every sense; metaphysically. It’s much like what Ellis achieved in this short story I wrote long ago, entitled Tripper’s Dream.

Ellis had entirely given up on life and living in general, completely secluding himself from everything he had ever known to escape the horrible depressions raiding his long-sheltered life, until all he had left were his thoughts. And with no real self-meaning of his own, his mind unwittingly seeked some sense of purpose in the dreams of others. Dreams he was able to play witness to in every way, beyond the limits of the physical body, as though they were his own experiences. He found more truth in these artful, meandering memories and fantasies than he ever did before and eventually came to feel more awake, more alive, when invading the dreams of others than he ever did in his own conscious world. This strange pastime of his carried on until he eventually encountered someone else wandering the lucid realm with him and, together, they decided to leave behind the real world altogether in pursuit of an existence solely as free-flowing thoughts.

Well, anyway… I guess that probably all sounds like Quantum Physics hogwash but the truth is, for that brief moment (which seemed to last quite longer at the time), I played witness myself to colours that were brighter and more varied than any I’d ever seen, felt an overwhelming sense of serenity and even a distinct feeling of weightlessness, illustrated by the act of actually floating on water. I know, for certain, that this was no ordinary dream, much less a dream at all.


Lately, D and I have been feeling quite… um… well, for lack of a more appropriate way of putting this, more “in touch with ourselves” and I don’t know if it’s related at all to that experience I’ve had. We’ve even begun practising astral projection together and, though it didn’t really work the first time, whatever we managed to achieve ignited something sexual within us. We’ve been having the best sex we’ve ever had these past two weeks now. Maybe, if we can keep this up, we’ll finally be able to express our passion in the astral plane. Yeah. Now I know nobody’s taking me seriously anymore.

Something’s in the air. I don’t know what it is yet but whatever it is, it’s definitely looking positive…

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Tuesday, 24 June, 2008 at 7:53 pm Leave a comment


Misadventures Of A Vagrant T-Girl

There's plenty fun to be had. From the Cayman Islands, to London, to Phoenix and back again, Silky's been there, done that. But life's for the living and I ain't dead yet. Making vegans look cool, trannies sound sexy and delivering shit hot Electro is my deal. Loving my beautiful wife, nurturing my baby boy Phoenix and making my small mark on this jaded world of post-consumerism is my mantra. Friends, welcome. Guests, indulge. There's plenty fun to be had.

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Birthdate: 19th February, 1983 Nationality: Caymanian Star Sign: Aquarius/Pisces Orientation: Bisexual Diet: Vegan Occupation: Graphic Designer WiiMail: w8848634343789919@wii.com
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