Dirty Little Girl

by Jennifer Saunders

Now, once upon a time there was a naughty, dirty little girl who sang and danced her way to the top. She didn’t care who she was horrid to in order to get famous. She even did a nude book where she showed her vixen toilet parts to everyone, and depicted scenes of depravity with young and old gay boys and girls licking and poking her. When she grew up she realized she didn’t want her own children to read this smut or to see her on stage twirling her nipples and grinding with a man dressed as the Pope. One day a big wise rabbit called Philip Berg hopped up to her and suggested that she should study the ancient mystic and esoteric knowledge of the first five books of Moses and explore a path to fulfillment via spiritual and scientific laws of the universe that govern the cosmos and the human soul. And so she did. She set about repenting and making herself a better person. She washed out her filthy mouth and the words “mother”, “sucker” and “cock” never passed her lips again. She thanked the big rabbit and all his creed and asked how she could show the world that she was now a new and spiritually clean person called “Enid”. He gave her a $26 red friendship bracelet, available at blahblahla.com and a catalog for further merchandise. This is a true story, and if you don’t believe me, go fuck yourself.


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