With Her

I find such contentment in simply laying here, staring at her as she sleeps. Listening to nothing else but the sound of her quiet breathing. Imagining myself beside her—arms around her pixelated vessel, feeling her real, natural warmth, beyond the screen—brings a hopeful smile to my face.

She has saved me. Saved me from the trenches of despair, not so long ago, when I felt as though I had nothing left to live for. Having every single thing I cherished and nurtured stripped away from me in an instant. And yet, I’m still here. Still going.

With her.

Saturday, 28 August, 2010 at 7:57 am Leave a comment

Don’t Come Over. I’m Overcome.

I move with a peculiar nervousness. Looking over my shoulder, hanging my head. Stepping between lines and through shadows. Unsure but unwavering. Lost but on track. I shy away from anything and anyone who welcomes me. Totally overcome by my very being.

I want to hide from the mirror but I can’t look away.

And I’d already be dead if I weren’t still fighting to stay alive.

In case you’re wondering… I miss you, Heather, like the best friends that we used to be. I miss you, Kristina, like the best friends we could have been. I miss you, Amanda, like a little sister. I miss you, Jeannine, like a big sister. I want to have that lunch with you, Cindy. I want to party it up with you, Adi. I want Anjella to talk to me again and tell her it’s okay. I want to see Sammy again and play with her baby. I want to know that Claire is alright and I want to hold her, finally. I want to kiss you, Tammy and hit the best bars in Thailand. I want to make it up to Dan. I want to hang out with Kevin again. I want to hug Constance. I want to tell Blythe just how much those few hours meant to me. I want to find Andrea and fulfil my promise. I want to find Alexis and change the world with her. I want to catch up with my cousin, Samantha. I want to lay under a big tree with Jen. I want to know that Jasmine is happy. I want Nikko to accept me. I want Harmony to really talk to me. I want to know that Stephanie is happy. I want Lori to tell me why. I want to tell Samantha just how sorry I am. I want Jodi to come back. I want John to understand. I want my mother to fucking give it up and finally get it. I want to know that Savannah is doing just fine and see her smile just one more time.

I want to make my Danielle happy beyond her wildest dreams. I want Phoenix to inherit a beautiful world.

And I want to apologise to anyone I may have forgotten…

My to-do list is never-ending. So many amazing people have touched me in so many ways but I’ve reached a stage in my life where I don’t know how to return the favour. I’ve let you all down. I’ve neglected you. I’ve lied to you. I’ve left you behind. But I haven’t forgotten you and I have never stopped loving you. The simple truth is, I don’t know how to live anymore and don’t dare soil anyone’s life with my problems. Honestly, I’m just going through the motions and making the best out of every pitiful second of existence I have left, because something tells me it won’t be long now. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone, I just don’t know how to make anyone happy anymore. I can barely utter a word when anyone says hello. I can barely look anyone in the eye. I’m so ashamed of myself and so exhausted from all of the self-loathing and so tired of being cast out by the general populace that I simply don’t have the energy to share any piece of myself with anyone anymore.

And I hate it.

This is not the person I am and I know it. You know it, whoever you are. I exist now as a byproduct of fear and depression. I’m so scared. I’m so hurt. I’m so lost and I don’t even know why I’m typing this. I can never keep in touch, no matter how badly I want to. I can never get up the nerve to pick up that phone. I can never compose myself long enough to get online and say anything to anyone. I’m a total wreck and I do not know what to do. I am so sorry. I am so unbelievably sorry. I miss you all so much and you mean so much to me and I think about all of you all the time. I want to give you so much. I want to touch you like you’ve touched me. But I just can’t…

Please forgive me. I love you.

Tuesday, 6 October, 2009 at 6:40 am Leave a comment

The Reeling

by Passion Pit

We dug these holes we crawled into
Now they’re my home
Now here I cannot feel the wind
Can’t feel the rain nor cold
And I believe in gentle harmony
Oh, how I loath all this obscenity
Is this the way my life has got to be?
Have I a single opportunity?

Look at me
Oh, look at me
Is this the way I’ll always be?
Oh no!
And now I dream that somebody
Will swiftly come and kidnap me
Oh no!
And everyday I lie awake
And pray to god today’s the day
Oh no!
But here I am
Oh, here I am
Oh, when will someone understand?
Oh no!

And all at once I feel this
Oh, how it clings to me
It reels and calls me towards some
Confounding destiny
And I can feel the madness inch by inch
The more I run the more I am convinced
I’ve colored all these like the branches twist
Just like we settle in the frothy mist

Tuesday, 6 October, 2009 at 6:16 am Leave a comment

How Long

by The Veronicas

Saturdays will never be the same
It’s even hard mentioning your name
Looking back, I don’t know what went wrong
But suddenly it’s like I don’t belong

So how long must I wait?
And how long must I stay?
Please let me know how to live
‘Cause I don’t ever wanna feel this way
Again

Nothing seems to matter anymore
Why can’t it be just like it was before?
I hate you for the person I’ve become
Take me back to where it all begun

So how long must I wait?
And how long must I stay?
Please let me know how to live
‘Cause I don’t ever wanna feel this way
Again

Let me know, how to live
Let me know

So how long must I wait?
And how long must I stay?
Please let me know how to live
‘Cause I don’t ever wanna feel this way
Again

Sunday, 14 September, 2008 at 2:54 pm Leave a comment

Al Gore’s Challenge

What People Are Saying

Sen. John McCain, likely Republican presidential nominee:
McCain said he admires Gore as an early and outspoken advocate of addressing the global warming problem even though “there may be some aspects of climate change that he and I are in disagreement (on).” Of the goals Gore outlined Thursday for generating more electricity with solar and wind resources, McCain said, “If the vice president says it’s doable, I believe it’s doable.” Source: Associated Press

Sen. Barack Obama, likely Democratic presidential nominee:
“For decades, Al Gore has challenged the skeptics in Washington on climate change and awakened the conscience of a nation to the urgency of this threat. I strongly agree with Vice President Gore that we cannot drill our way to energy independence, but must fast-track investments in renewable sources of energy like solar power, wind power and advanced biofuels, and those are the investments I will make as President. It’s a strategy that will create millions of new jobs that pay well and cannot be outsourced, and one that will leave our children a world that is cleaner and safer.”

Rep. Edward Markey, Chairman of the Select Committee on Energy Independence and Global Warming:
“Vice President Gore’s call today reflects not just the urgency of global warming, but the pent up renewable energy revolution that is waiting in the wings, ready to be unleashed. At a time when fossil fuels are dragging down our economy, we should be looking to free fuels like the wind and the sun to power our economy, and we should be moving swiftly to bring these promising energy sources to the entire world.

“Congress must take this clarion call from our nation’s climate sage and act, swiftly and fairly. Climate legislation can grow our economy, assist low and middle income families and workers, and transition us to a stable, clean energy future, but we are running out of time.

“It has been more than two years since the release of ‘An Inconvenient Truth’, and we have still not answered the call to save our planet and save our economy. We cannot go another two years, or even one year, without passing legislation to significantly cut global warming emissions and unleash a renewable energy future.”


Dr. James Hansen, Director, NASA Goddard Institute for Space Studies:

“This is just what the doctor ordered — to cure our carbon addiction and stimulate the economy. It would be the turning point that is needed to lead the world to a stable climate.”


Jonathan Lash, President, World Resources Institute:

“Climate change and energy security not just threats…they are opportunities. Vice President Gore has issued an audacious and timely challenge: imagine our future and our children’s future if we seize the moment. We need to change the debate in this country from what we can’t do to what we can do. America has led every major technological shift in the last 100 years, and we can lead the next one as well. The problem is not technology, it is political will.”


Bill McKibbon, author & climate activist:

“Finally a response to both the science of climate and the economics of energy on a scale commensurate with the problem. This is a plan that breaks us out of muddling, temporizing stalemate and sets a clear path forward towards an imaginable future. I’m not sure what prize you get once you’ve won the Nobel, but this initiative deserves it.”


Carol M. Browner, former EPA Administrator, and Principal of The Albright Group LLC:

“Once again, Al Gore is demonstrating his passion, leadership and ingenuity when it comes to offering real solutions to the climate and energy crisis. Al Gore recognizes that the enormity of the problem demands a hands-on approach that requires all of us to pitch in with good old-fashioned American innovation and resourcefulness. The time is now to move beyond conventional thinking and short-term politics, and Al Gore is charting a new course that will bring real, lasting change.”


Lee Thomas, Former EPA Administrator (under President Reagan):

“Our environment, economy and national security interests are threatened as never before. It’s time for all of us to commit to a comprehensive plan to break free of these threats. Al Gore is challenging each of us to be a part of the solution. I believe it will take this kind of bold initiatives and strong national leadership if we are to be successful.”


David G. Hawkins, Director, Climate Programs, Natural Resources Defense Council:

“Finally, a clear and compelling call to do what is both possible and essential to help solve the climate crisis. Al Gore’s call for a truly clean electric power fleet in a decade is the scale of action we need to break the back of global warming. With a prompt action plan from Congress, including a firm limit on global warming pollution, America can reach this goal in time to help the world avoid the worst impacts of a disrupted climate.”

Dan Kammen, Energy and Resources Group, UC Berkeley:
“Vice President Gore’s speech today sets the tone for a new American Century: one that is based around an economics and a technological capacity to value the planet, not to degrade it. The call for a clean energy future — one where jobs are gained, not lost — through the secure resources of energy efficiency and renewable energy, is one that we can achieve, but it will take leadership. We are already seeing nations around the planet discover that a future where wind, solar, geothermal, clean hydropower, and other clean energy sources can play major roles in their economic rebirth. The challenge is to expand greatly the research base and deployment capacity of these industries, and to construct new markets that select climate-friendly energy supplies first. The United States, under committed visionary leadership can become the engine of a global economic revitalization around clean power, and Vice President Gore has outlined a plan and take a major step to begin the greening of the 21st Century.


David Yarnold, Executive Director, Environmental Defense Fund

“Al Gore is exactly right about our economic, environmental, and national security challenges. We need bold leadership if we’re going to build a secure and prosperous future for the United States. Together we can find the most efficient and effective path forward.”


Alden Meyer, Director of Strategy and Policy, Union of Concerned Scientists:

“Vice President Gore has laid down a bold challenge to America, and we applaud his leadership. The science is clear and compelling — we face truly serious consequences from human-induced climate change that require an urgent response. We must transform our economy by using energy much more efficiently, and by tapping our huge domestic reservoir of clean, renewable resources.

Once again, Al Gore has underscored that incremental solutions are not sufficient, and that we must mobilize for the rapid transformation of our energy economy. We have the technologies needed to slash our emissions of heat-trapping gases in every sector of the economy; what’s needed is the political will to move them into the marketplace much more quickly.”

“We must all take Al Gore’s call for action seriously. Responding to climate change requires the full engagement of national, state and local public officials, business executives, religious and community leaders, and every citizen. By uniting in this common purpose and mobilizing America’s ingenuity and can-do spirit, we can rise to this challenge. We can revitalize our economy, increase our energy security, and do our part to cut global warming pollution, all at the same time.”

“Vice President Gore deserves our deep thanks for highlighting the need for action in such a clear and compelling way. Now it’s up to all of us to respond with the same level of courage and conviction he has shown in working together to get the job done.”

Thursday, 17 July, 2008 at 8:06 pm 1 comment

Together, We Can Meet The Challenge

Former Vice President Al Gore to Issue Important Challenge

In a speech in Washington, DC, on July 17, Nobel Laureate and Former Vice President Al Gore will issue a major challenge to our country. He will essentially press the “reset” button on how we think about energy and climate, and how we can create prosperity in America.

Al Gore’s speech will generate a great deal of attention and excitment. Be sure to check back at www.wecansolveit.org for full coverage of the event the afternoon of July 17!

Thursday, 17 July, 2008 at 11:08 am Leave a comment

Al Gore To Issue Important Challenge

WE CAN SOLVE THE CLIMATE CRISIS

Something important is happening tomorrow.

In a speech in Washington, DC, Nobel Laureate and Former Vice President Al Gore will issue a major challenge, essentially pressing the “reset” button on how we think about energy and climate, and how we can create prosperity in America.

His speech will generate a great deal of attention.

Sincerely,

Cathy Zoi
CEO
www.wecansolveit.org

Wednesday, 16 July, 2008 at 2:09 pm Leave a comment

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Misadventures Of A Vagrant T-Girl

There's plenty fun to be had. From the Cayman Islands, to London, to Phoenix and back again, Silky's been there, done that. But life's for the living and I ain't dead yet. Making vegans look cool, trannies sound sexy and delivering shit hot Electro is my deal. Loving my beautiful wife, nurturing my baby boy Phoenix and making my small mark on this jaded world of post-consumerism is my mantra. Friends, welcome. Guests, indulge. There's plenty fun to be had.

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Birthdate: 19th February, 1983 Nationality: Caymanian Star Sign: Aquarius/Pisces Orientation: Bisexual Diet: Vegan Occupation: Graphic Designer WiiMail: w8848634343789919@wii.com
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